THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD "THE BLONDE MURDER VICTIM"

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (ACTUAL AP HEADLINE)

LINDA BURNETT, 23, A RESIDENT OF SAN DIEGO, WAS VISITING HER IN LAWS, AND WHILE THERE WENT TO A NEARBY SUPERMARKET TO PICK UP SOME GROCERIES. SEVERAL PEOPLE NOTICED HER SITTING IN HER CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP AND WITH HERE EYES CLOSED, WITH BOTH HANDS BEHIND THE BACK OF HER HEAD. ONE CUSTOMER WHO HAD BEEN AT THE STORE FOR A WHILE BECAME CONCERNED AND WLKED OVER THE THE CAR. HE NOTICED THAT LINDA'S EYES WERE NOW OPEN, AND SHE LOOKED VERY STRANGE. HE ASKED HER IS SHE WAS OKAY, AND LINDA REPLIED THAT SHE HAD BEEN SHOT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, AND HAD BEEN HOLDING HER BRAINS IN FOR OVER AN HOUR. THE MAN CALLED THE PARAMEDICS, WHO BROKE INTO THE CAR BECAUSE THE DOORS WERE LOCKED AND LINDA REFUSED TO REMOVE HER HANDS FROM HER HEAD. WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT IN, THEY FOUND THAT LINDA HAD A WAD OF BREAD DOUGH ON THE BACK OF HER HEAD. A PILLSBURY BISCUIT CANISTER HAD EXPLODED FROM THE HEAT, MAKING A LOUD NOISE THAT SOUNDED LIKE GUNSHOT, AND THE WAD OF DOUGH HIT HER IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD. WHEN SHE REACHED BACK TO FIND OUT WHAT IT WAS, SHE FELT THE DOUGH AND THEOUGHT IT WAS HER BRAINS. SHE INTIALLY PASSED OUT, BUT QUICKLY RECOVERED AND TRIED TO HOLD HER BRAINS IN FOR OVER AN HOUR UNTIL SOMEONE NOTICED AND CAME TO HER AID.

AND YES, LINDA IS A BLONDE!

THANKS FOR CHECKING THIS OUT! JAY SCOTT